My son came home late.?

My 14 year old son is supposed to be home by 9:30 one day we went out with his friends and came back home at 10:00! We punishes him by taking his cell phone away, and computer privlages. Then the next week he got his report card, all im saying is 3 D's an 2 A's a B and a C.


So we took his door off.


My father used to do that to my brother.


Believe it or not he is doing alot better with grades this year. My son has Dyslexia and he has trouble keeping up with homework. We got him a tutor. And his grades are improving....


Did we do the right tings by taking away privlages when he didnt diserve them.....except the door................you know i think he may need the door.

My son came home late.?
You totally did the right thing by taking away the computer, cell phone etc. My father used to do this to me, and it worked like a charm. Yes, please give him the door back. He needs his privacy if nothing else.
Reply:I dunno, that's pretty harsh.


And school is hard. I'm failing two classes, and trust me, I'm not coping well. I've actually done some things to myself that I'm not proud of, because I'm really ashamed.


Just help him and be there for him. That's the most annoying, yet best thing a parent can ever do (other than love, of course)
Reply:Yes, you are doing exactly the right things. And surprise it is working. When problems started you cracked down. You found what worked for you and with your son. Keep it up--my hat is off to you.





And I understand about the need for privacy. But I wouldn't put the door back right away. Do not tinker with what is working. Maybe down the road you could do a trial run. But just keep things on track for now.
Reply:=hair analysis or live blood analysis may provide clues on the vitamins / minerals that he could be needing.


=often kids can improve dramatically when-


-no yeast bread, theres yeast free or sough dough or flat bread


-olive leaf extract can kill off the yeast fungus as well as any -parasites


-get litmus paper to test your sons saliva and urine, to check the ph balance


-chemicals can be bad for the brain, use only organic / herbal / natural shampoo, detergents, air fresheners and toiletries





Please I dont think you should repeat your fathers mistake about the door, your son still needs privacy and respect for his own space
Reply:It really depends on your son. My older brother as well as my self have dyslexia. It never really affected my grades but it did his. He was even held back a year. Anyway my parents tried everything with him, they grounded him took away everything and all they ever asked for was to bring home Cs. It is really up to him and how he sees his future. It is a hard thing for a kid to look past the now, and see that messing up in school can affect his future. My advise to you is this, if you see improvement oh his behavior as well as in school with the actions you are taking then continue with what you are doing. If you don't see an improvement then don't continue to take stuff away you will need a new tactic. But you are doing the right thing by getting him a tutor, it shows you are trying to support him. Anyway good luck
Reply:Well once a few moons ago, I was a young boy. My STUPID UNCARING DUMB MOTHER did that to me i was pi****. Now do you want your son to grow up and call you names? I think not Thank You for your cooroporation,


♥♥
Reply:Yes you did, but I hope you didn't take them away too long, it was only a half hour late!
Reply:I'd give back the door. They do need privacy. I almost did it myself but I realized when they shut/slam the door - that means they are closing the subject. If he can't close the subject it remains open.





On the cell phone, don't take it away so he can call you if he needs you...but limit his calls to only your phone. Then, if he's in trouble you still get the call - but his friends are off-limits.





Remember, as long as he's learning - that's what counts. Even Abe Lincoln wasn't an A student. It makes learning more fun as well.
Reply:I understand wanting him to fear the reprocussions of his decisions but its a new era, don't you think the door is a tad extreme. He's a teenage boy not an inmate
Reply:Proper action was taken, but do not keep too long.
Reply:yes you did do not let the child run your house or tell you what to do if you let him that is the end so keep on enforcing the rules i have tried the same thing and it has worked and the more


you take their stuff it works it makes them think so do not give him the door now unless it get were he talks back,cuss you or try to fight you.
Reply:I mean this with sincerity and am NOT trying to be a snot, but I find it a little odd that you would be so harsh with your son for making poor grades when your spelling is so atrocious AND he has dyslexia. This of course is no excuse for poor grades, but it certainly means he has to work harder than most people. Being late ONE TIME for curfew deserves punishment, but it shouldn't be prolonged. I think taking away cell phone and computer for a week is completely reasonable. I don't, however, think taking the door off was AT ALL the right punishment for making bad grades. Your reason for doing so was because your dad did it. This isn't a real reason. If you think your son should be studying more and doing his homework more effectively, have him work at the kitchen table, NOT in his room. At 14, your son needs privacy. Taking away his door is just going to stress him out more, which isn't going to help his schoolwork. Don't be surprised if he spends more time in the bathroom "pooping" now that his bedroom door is gone.
Reply:Now a days...it seems that parents are more concerned about how their child will LIKE them....I have 2 teenagers *one girl and one boy...and I can't be their best friend and parent them at the same time....There are times they down right hate me...cause I take away privelages...I'll do it every time. Kudos to you!!!! Actually I'd have taken away...the stereo, tv, video games, etc..til the grade came back up!! Taking the door off?! NICE JOB!!! I NEVER would have thought of that one!!! I'd also have told him his time with his friends is suspended until he can learn that when you set a curfew it's for his own good!!! You are the parent and it's about time we parents started old schooling our children so they aren't the ones you hear about on the news...being out running the streets at 2 am!! Cause if you forgive and forget...it'll start getting later and later!!! (my daughter is 16 and VERY good at pushing her luck!!!) She just got a car...and I've already repoed the keys!!! Don't mess with me!! I said 8 pm...PERIOD!! KUDOS TO YOU!! AND ALL THE OTHER PARENTS WHO DO THEIR JOB!!!
Reply:I think that you took it a little too far with the door. Privileges are one thing, but a teenage boy needs his privacy.





And besides, you can't be too upset with your son's grades. Look at the example that you are setting with your misspellings and grammar mistakes.
Reply:You are teaching him there are consequences for his actions. Nothing wrong with that. But, it seems like staying out late and goofing off with his friends is a bigger problem. Maybe you could let him know next time it may be something worse!





But, if it works...why fix it?
Reply:Yeah I agree with everything, and I assume he has earned them back???? you could also try for every A $3.00 and every B 2.00, or when he brings in a good report card, give him a temporary extra privlage like an extra hour out with his freinds, or a sleepover with pizza and Ice Cream... I don't know.. it may entice him to keep up the good work!!!! as fas as the door..... as teens do need a little privacy..... and when growing in to man hood.... that is something he really is going to need... he don't want mom or dad walking past when he is changing or anything you know... It is a little embarrassing.
Reply:Of course you did the right thing! That is a lesson we all have to learn, you must work for your privileges. If you cant work or earn them then you do not get them. If you don't do this its like saying "Hey I can slack off and still expect to get all that I want". And if you ask me to many kids these days have that attitude, they expect everything for nothing. Sounds like you are just trying to be a good parent. KEEP IT UP! And about that door...make him earn it back as well. Good luck
Reply:I think removing the door was a bit extreme...everyone needs a bit of privacy....
Reply:You may had done the right thing. Boys need privicy. And if hes out with friends maybe hes being a kid and having fun. Also hes improving alot. If he has dyslexia you could be a lil hard on him. But hes your kid. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions though about him staying out late.
Reply:You didn't take away any "priveliges" to begin with. In order for them to be "priveliges" is that they have to be EARNED before they child gets them. You gave him things and then took them away as "punishment", no I don't think it's right. If you worked a 40 hour work week and your weekly salary was say $1,000.00 but because you're work slowed down a bit on last Monday your employer decided to only pay you $700.00 would you like it? Remember you were being punished for not keeping up with production...Basically it's the same thing.
Reply:lol my friend did the same thing with her kid about the door. i think that it is wrong, no matter what your son has done wrong he still deserves his privacy. come on put the door back on!!
Reply:When rules get broken, privileges are lost. Dont feel guilty. I think you did the right thing.
Reply:Yes the door....take all the doors off.

clematis