My son and his grade?

How can I help my son to do better in school. He is a freshman and he just doesn't seem to care. He doesn't turn in assignments. I ask him if he needs help with his homework and he says no but he must because he is not passing. Last year I got him a tutor because I was so frustrated. Should I do that again? I told him he could not have a drivers licence until he is getting a c average and no video games either. Is there something else I should be doing? Is there anything a doctor could do to help us? I am a lost mother.

My son and his grade?
My daughter is in 7th grade and we were having trouble with that recently. Her progress report told us that she was failing all her classes. One was due to a missed assignment, two due to make up tests she needed to take to make up for failed tests and the third was because she did not understand an entire chapter in math and did not ask for any help.


New routine:


First, we cleaned her room of all distractions. They were divided in three groups - the first group was what needed to be thrown out or given away. The next group are items that she can earn back, such as her stuffed animals and posters. She will need to bring home a C or higher. The third group are the things like books, magazines and craft supplies which she will get to use with permission and return to me.


She returns home from school and eats a fruit for snack. She does her homework which is checked by me (her teachers also check and sign her assignment book after each class). I only have her correct what she clearly is not getting and leave small mistakes for her to correct in class. She also must study for a half hour after her homework is done. She stays after with each of her teachers unless they decide she doesn't need to. And she earns a half hour of TV for each day she complies to this routine without any form of complaint. She redeems the TV time at the end of the week (usually Friday after homework, study, and chores). So far it is helping.


She is also the type who will not ask for help - she thinks it means she is stupid. Nor will she accept help if it is offered. She needs to be told that she needs help and have it forced on her. She will reluctantly accept and later be amazed at the results.


Get your son the tutor if you feel that it helped last year but you can do it yourself, too. Do not ask him if he needs help, just give it to him. He will thank you by bringing home a passing report card.
Reply:You live in Las Vegas?!??! I live there too.. I go to grant sawyer middle school.. and am going to Durango high next year. I prolly know your son.. email me at : rrorton24@aol.com ..
Reply:well i'm not sure what a freshman is.....i'm from the UK but i guess u mean first year of hs, well, i'm around there, i'm 15. yes, i could be doing better thing but i do my work cause i wanna turn out good cause you know, these days you won't get anywhere without good grades. remind him that he's gonna bthe slob with the beer can in his hand watching football all day if he doesn't get into line!





"I need help in math please. a=s2 is the formula for the area of what shape?"





sounds like your the freshy not your son......








wait wait wait. " I am a lost mother." look at your pic....ug! u wouldn't b a very good criminal with tracks like that....
Reply:im a froshman to coupel of my frinds have same prblem to....it becuse they think youre gonna live for ever and pay for what ever he whants ...show him the bad life like what will happen to him if he dosent pass with good grades(take to newyork and show him some hobos).also make him pay for a coupel of the stuff he whants.and in school they have something called a daily progress report teacher sing and write his home work and how he did in school that day.
Reply:My brother is like that.


A tutor will be no help unless he's actually doing his homework, that's most likely what is making him do so poorly. Most highschool courses are progressive, so he has to keep up with all homework in order to understand (course material builds on past course material).


There are so many things to distract from what needs to be done these days, whether it's a part time job, friends, television, internet... I'd advise that you make him set aside an hour every day for homework, somewhere that you can SEE him doing the work (somewhere without much distraction like a dining room usually works best). Depending on his course load, he may need more, and NEVER accept the excuse that he has no homework. There is ALWAYS homework in highschool. It sounds a bit extreme, but if you want him to do well, he needs to develop these habits, and getting him used to setting aside time for homework will help a lot.





BTW, I saw you had problems with finding Gilmore Girls online, and you can watch all the episodes at http://tv.peekvid.com/s2686/
Reply:Keep bothering him and asking him if he needs help and then he might say yes. Or tell his teachers if they can help him out. And also get a private tutor who is really good and make him learn from the tutor. My brother is like that and my mom got him a private tutor and he got a little better
Reply:Let me start by saying that your son sounds a lot like how I was seven years ago as a freshman in high school. Why should grades be on his mind? He has no idea what they do... For all he knows, having good grades is what stops the parental units from bugging him. As a newbie high schooler, I couldn't begin to fathom what grades did, or where they could lead you, until my senior year when it was college day and the major colleges came to show off what they have to offer.





As both a teacher and a student (as well as a male) that has FINALLY made the switch to better managing time in my life, I say that you need to take gradual steps with your son if you want improvement. Don't expect A's overnight, 'cause they won't happen.





I recommend that he go by a schedule that he can see, one that's printed out and hanging in a place where he looks at constantly (such as a wall in his room, or on his door). Grab a few sheets of paper, sit down with him after dinner, and write out a daily schedule of exactly what he does, starting from things to do that day (shower, school, etc), to things to get done later that day (chores, homework, etc). After listing out everything he does that day, cross out 3-5 things that does not need to be done, or has little, or no, value. (And if you can't find anything, don't worry about it).





After that, find out what his goals in life or that year. If he does not have (or can think of) any, find out what he likes and shape that into a goal no matter how unreasonable it sounds (be it 'passing school with Cs' or 'video game tester'). Put these goals at the bottom of the schedule page as a reminder of what he wants.





Now, make a daily schedule (or a day-to-day schedule) based upon what needs to be done that day and have him commit to doing 80-85% of the tasks on there. As time progresses, up the completion percentage to 85-90%, 90-95%, and so on. Give back video game privileges (showing him that there's light at the end of the tunnel) and let him know that if he completes below the daily percentage, that you will take away these privileges (and will give them back once he demonstrates that he's capable of etc).





**Side note: take away (and/or hide) the console, or whatever he's using to play video games on, to ensure that he's not playing them.





Print/Copy the schedule so that you can see his schedule, too. As his mother/coach/boss in this matter, make a weekly chart to gauge what he's doing and to mark any improvements you see. Talk to him everyday and sound as positive as you can. If he did something good or right, let him know via positive reinforcement.





By going by the schedule, this will teach him autonomous behavior, the consequences that follow, and will (hopefully) show the positive aspects to being organized (better grades, healthier relationships with people, etc). I'm certain that if you stick with him and, this is key, not give up on him, he'll churn out better grades in no time.





If you've any questions, comments, or concerns, I'd be happy to help. Just message me through this or email me at GT_Stevo@yahoo.com











PS -- If you can, get a gorgeous college girl (or someone female and out of his dating range) to come over and tell him that "chicks dig smart guys" (and to be extremely convincing about it). If there was one thing that made me shape up, it was hearing my babysitter (whom, like most guys before me, I had a crush on) say that. I buried her words within my psyche and associated 'time management' with a *very good* thing (instead of 'time management; being that 'thing that mom and dad are always nagging me about').
Reply:I am a teacher and this is so common. One of the biggest problems is that children are not taught time management or how to prganize. They go from fifth grade where they have one teacher to a varfiety of classes with so many expectations and assignments that it is hard for them to regulate without being taught. Many schools are seeing this problem and are helping children to get their homework assignments in and learn how to do homework in a timely fashion instead of waiting until the last minute or doing it and forgetting it.


Think about it, boys don't care about grades as freshman. They care about GIRLS!!!!!! VIDEO GAMES!!!! Girls and video games....and food!


We keep in close contact with the school. Daily emails stating what the missing assignments are and then we make sure they are done before any time with friends. Kids hate to have their parents go to school and check up on them too. Maybe you should visit the teacher!
Reply:talk to him, find out why.





is the work too hard?


is it too easy?





if its hard, get extra tution, if its easy, speak to his teacher about it, see what he/she says.








if its nothing like that, if he is just generaly lazy, try some punishments for not doing homework.
Reply:keep taking his stuff away until he finally give in and care about his grade. maybe you should go to his school and check with his teacher and see how you can help him improve.