Would you punish your child for their grades?

I'm just looking to see what some other people think about this issue.


Personally, I think that it is uncalled for.


Unless they are intentionally slacking and getting poor grades.


But if they try hard and get a B, C, D, or F I don't think that they they should be punished.


I know someone who grounds her daughter for 9 weeks if she gets anything less than an A.


I also know another parent that belts his 12-16 year olds if they don't get all A's.





So, what to you think?


If you think it is good to punish a child with poor grades, what good do you think it would do? What would you do? If they don't understand the course work, how is punishing them going to make it easier?


If you think it is a bad idea, what would you do in place? Tutors? Not even worry about it?

Would you punish your child for their grades?
I'd never punish my kids for bad grades. If they got a bad grade and I knew they could do better, then I'd explain that I and their teacher were dissapointed because we knew they could do better and believed in them. I'd also talk to them to figure out why they werent working to the best of their ability.


And encourage them more and support them in whatever way they needed. This includes talking to the teacher and working together with them to help my child.





If they were getting bad grades but it was the best they could do then I would be proud. Not everyone can be great at everything. I'd focus on that subject at home and try my hardest to increase my childs knowledge and understanding of it. As well as increase their interest in that subject. Again I'd also speak to the teacher and find out how my child is struggling what they cant grasp and how both the teacher and I could go about helping my child.





I think its all about team work and communication. If you are talking to your child and helping them, then you'll know in what areas they need help. Then you can go and speak to the teacher and come up with ways to address the problem and help your child. And they will benefit from the same strategies used at home and at school as well as the encouragment on both fronts.


If they are really srtuggling and do need a tutor then so be it.
Reply:Grades aren't important in our family. Trying to do your best to learn is what counts.





Grades can reflect effort, but they don't always do so. I was a straight A student %26amp; I put almost no effort into it at all - there were some classes that I never even did homework in, just aced the tests and ended up with an A on test scores %26amp; grading curve alone.





What would I do if the kids started bringing home D's %26amp; F's? I'd work with them to make sure they were trying their best to understand the subject - help them try to approach the subject in a way that they could comprehend it better. I would also help them re-examine their study habits %26amp; help them to communicate with the teacher regarding expectations in the class.
Reply:I don't do that because I think that if a kid gets ALL good grades, then either the teacher is incompetent or the kid is a genius savant who is held back by the idea that your age determines your grade.
Reply:If they are just slacking off and you know they can do better, then yes, punishment would be a fair idea. But, spanking a child that old is outlandish. There are much better ways to punish without physical abuse being involved.


But, if they are trying their hardest, doing everything they can and are still failing, there may be a physical, mental or brain function problem that needs to be looked into.


If there are none of the above, perhaps your child would do better with homeschooling or a Montesorie type school where children work at their own pace.


Otherwise, get some tutors for the child. Make sure the tutors understand that the child has problems keeping up.


One thing that helped my son was when I included teaching into everyday household chores, such as baking. Make learning fun instead of a chore.
Reply:Well i think belting a child is barbaric; i can’t see how that would improve your child’s education.


I think it’s up to the parents to sit the child down and read to them daily and tell them that you love them and try your best.


I also think repetition is a key to education imop.


Punishment is not a key to education because we all know kids rebel to punishment.


If they have problems understanding the work after YOU have sat down wit them and went over it them maybe you should investigate alternative solutions.





Although i agree with myrtairaven's theory i have to say im not sure which school discrict she is from, becuause here the association between parents and teachers are pretty minimal, and the time you CAN talk to teachers again is within their schedule.


Im not saying its a bad idea but for some parents schedules migh conflict with their daliy jobs.





So again i think its up to the parents to provide some home self study education on their own.
Reply:If this isn't your child you probaby shouldn't be worried about it. I always wish that people would just take care of their own and not worry or judge what other people are doing as you usually don't know the whole story.
Reply:Those parents you are describing are just asking for a rebellious teen. Every parent wants the best for their child, thats why you encourage them to do the Best they can, not the best in the world, or in their high school, because everyone learns at different levels. No, i wouldnt punish my kid, but i would certainly try to help solve the problem, could be anything,disability, eyesight, bullies, even that they are bored, and are in to simple of a class.So, i think seeing what the problem is first, then trying to find a solution, and i dont think grounding or beating is the answer, unless your kid is just slacking off on purpose.
Reply:I will and i was but all A's is extreme they need to be A's B's and maybe a C but D's and F's are unepectable. won't belts but i take away things like TV and phone. They will have more time to concentrate. I also would help them if i can if not ask the teacher what they can do to bring up their grades
Reply:No,I don't think so and I am totally against it.We should work on them from the beginning and give them plenty of time and help them through their weaknesses. if they don't make it after so much effort,we have no right to punish them physically even then. we have no right to use our physical powers over the weaker ones.
Reply:Even though i'm not a parent yet this is what I think and my parents do. I do NOT accept D's and F's. If they get an F I would be pretty mad because if you get an F that means you failed that class and you'll have to make up for it(summer school, ect.). If my child got a D I would only ground them maybe for 3 days and help them out more with their work to make sure he understands what he's doing. A C is ok every once in a while(maybe like 1 or 2 each grade, but it would be great to get none) but at least a C mean they're doing ok. But A's and B's are perfect! And if my child would get no D's and F's and mostly A's and B's at the end of the year I would get him somthing he wants(new CD, video game, movie, ect.).
Reply:dont punish them, help them do better
Reply:If a child is really trying and doing the best it can at school, they should not be punished for their grades. If the child is doing badly and you know they are not really trying, I would take away some privileges. No child should have a belt taken to them. Someone needs to take it and use it on the parents for being bad parents.If the child is really doing bad and the parents can't help them, they need a Tudor. You definitely worry about it though because every child needs as much education as he can get so he will have every opportunity in today's world.
Reply:So the parent that belt's his kids for not getting A's needs to be call out on his behavior. Because although spanking is not against the law, it is if a belt is used. I'm all for spanking if what the child did a spanking is warranted, but not with a belt. For one it is illegal to spank a child with anythin gother than your "open" hand. As for the grade thing. If they are trying and you know they're trying there is no need for punishment, maybe a tutor, but not punishment. I must say though if a kid doesn't like school, their just not going to to do the work. No matter what you do.
Reply:if a child is getting low grades, the parent should sit down with the child in the evenings %26amp; help him/her study. that way the parent will know better what the real problem is.


when a child gets low grades, i wouldn't punish him. but i would withhold special treats until the grades get better
Reply:Grades matter and school is a BIG deal in my house. I am a mother of two and I have yet to see a grade lower than an A-. However, I would NEVER punish them for not getting a good grade. Our approach to school means that it is a WHOLE family affair. I am super involved with my kids' academic careers because I value it so much. I fail to see how punishing them can help though. As soon as I saw a grade begin to slip I would find out the root cause. They know to do their best and we will be proud, not just because of the grade, but because of the honest effort.
Reply:Personally, I think a hard-earned "C" is a better grade than an "A" that came easy. If I knew my kids tried their very best -- not just on the last test day, but through the entire class -- and they got a "C", I wouldn't punish them exactly.





BUT I might still "ground" them, without calling it that. It stands to reason that if attention is being diverted from studies by social life, leisure time, or extracurricular activities, less attention would be focused on schoolwork. When I'm at work, I don't get to have my cell phone on and be talking on it, because I'm there to be working, not conducting personal business. It's not punishment, it's just keeping extra distractions out of the picture. I think the same concept is approriate for kids and school.





I don't want to break their spirits or put too much pressure on them, but I also dont' want them to settle for the bare minimum when they have more potential. If you don't have ANY consequences for low grades, even if they were hard-earned, what is the motiviation to improve?
Reply:My parents have set a rule that they will never punish me for my grades, because they are mine, and my future, and I'm the one who has to live with them.


I know two friends whose parents ground them until they get their grades up. I know one friend whose parents grounded and took away priviliges until he got every single grade up to a 97. I think it's all ludicrous.


However, there are also parents who pay for grades (10 dollars for an A and 5 for B, or whatever) and my parents are also against that. You shouldn't have to bribe or punish your kids for grades, just help them along when they need it and make sure they understand it.
Reply:I think it is wrong to punish a child if they are doing their best. However if their poor grades are a result of hurring through their work or something that can be corrected then I see nothing wrong with a mild form of correction. We have a son who has this problem of hurring to much. We have had sucess with by taking away a favorite toy. We also demanded that he bring home his graded papers so we could keep track of his progress. What we discovered is that when he slows down he can do A/B work instead of D/F.
Reply:I am fortunate in the fact that my child does not have to work hard for his grades at this point. However, I do know people who have children who have legitimate problems getting good grades. Although, I do not think that we should accpet mediocrity in our children's grades, we should also consider that perhaps their grades are reflecting a problem. Are they going through stress, and is there a way that we can help them overcome it? Are they just not understanding the information. Learning doesn't just stop when the school bell rings. If parents are concerned, they they need to take an active roll in their children's education.


As far as belting? Good lord. Abuse is never ok, no matter what the reason is.


Grounding for 9 weeks? I think it would be more effective to set aside two or three hours a night to sit together and work on homework. Not all of us have that luxury, because we have to pay the bills, but..... I think 9 weeks is a little over the top.
Reply:Well my daughter just turned 7 this past week and is in the 2nd grade, I have taught her from a young age (kindergarden) that any thing less than 90% on a test is failing. I don't do it to be mean, but you have to look at it like this: by the time she goes to college she will need at the very least a MA to get a good job, even today an AA is worthless. I figure if I set the standard when she is young it is something she will keep with her when she gets to high school. When she gets to high school I will probably have it set up where her grades buys her freedom if she does good in school, she can go out and do normal teenage stuff, but one B or C (depending on the class) and she will not taste freedom until that grade comes up!
Reply:Punishment to an extent- bring home a bad report card needs to be addressed. Take away privileges, make a point to go over their homework every night, take away sports, things like that- grounding (only if it is very blatant), never anything more sever than that. But also give incentives for getting good grades. I'm not talking a $500 shopping spree every report card, but something to make them see that they are on the right track. If you punish too severely, then they will not feel open to coming to you about a problem. If they are struggling, then get them help, but they also need to realize that they need to speak up and take charge, not just sit back and see what happens (this pertains more to kids above a certian age- middle school is my train of thought. Prior to that the parents should be overseeing study habits and be able to see this anyway along with any communication with the teacher).