Girls: When a short, unattractive, nice guy follows you around, you're not flattered, right?

I feel bad but this guy has hopes that I might like him and it'll so never happen. He's so nice and does things for me, offers to tutor me, etc. I can hear the excitement in his voice when I call him. We're adults btw. But he annoys me b/c he likes me. Am I terrible?

Girls: When a short, unattractive, nice guy follows you around, you're not flattered, right?
I suppose it can be flattering up to a point. Though there are fine lines between flattering, annoying and scary that are different for every person.





To answer your other question, you're not terrible, given the details you've offered. You feel how you feel. The ethical dilemma on your part arises from your decision to accept his gifts of kindness without offering him anything in return - effectively, "stringing him along."





If I were you, I would try to find out if he's doing what he's doing *only* for the hope of eventually having a romantic relationship with you. The best way to find that out might just be to ask him. If it is the case that he is doing things for you strictly as a courting ritual, then it's probably best to set him free.





Then, still presuming I'm you, I'd explore my own reasons for keeping the charade going. Do you like having an admirer? Do you value his friendship? Are you afraid that he'll disappear if you're honest with him?





My official recommendation is that you just get it all out on the table. Let him know you're not interested in a romantic relationship with him. If you would like to preserve a friendship with him, let him know that as well.
Reply:nah, theres this dorky, creepy spaz girl who likes me and pretty much stalks me. u sound much nicer than i am. i just told her to go fall off the empire state building onto 45million knives and then for her to slather herself with honey and taunt killer bees. just tell him u wanna be friends(if that).
Reply:you are only terrible if you have been exploiting him for your own personal gain. That's what you are probably doing, isn't it?
Reply:well no i don't think so...cuz i don't think any1 could like som1 like him...maybe ur just not the right person 4 him....there will be others so don't worry.
Reply:If you are using him just for your own benefits..then yes..it is not a nice thing to do to anyone!





You might need to grow up abit more..(even tho you are an adult..you seem to be an immature one)...stop using him





stop calling him for your favours and help...
Reply:No, you're not terrible.


It's probably the same way a guy feels when a girl is too available.
Reply:yea please tell him your not interested in him sexuallly but just want to be friends... That way he might stop doing stupid things like tutoring you.
Reply:no your not terrible! i was in the same situation you are in at one time. But what i did was made sure that he knew that i don't like him like that and he finally got the point that i would be more likely to talk to him when he was just being himself and not trying to get me to like him! so i would make sure that he knows that you just want to be friends and maybe he will ease up. hope this helps =]
Reply:No you're not terrible you're human. It's okay to get annoyed when a person is over stepping their boundaries with you. You should gently and politely let him know that you aren't interested in anything more than friendship. If he persists I would cut my ties with him.
Reply:maybe your stuck up and think he likes you when he doesnt.
Reply:Flattered, but not interested.


SHORT GUYS ARE CREEPY!
Reply:If you know this then you should also be aware that allowing him to do things for you is misguiding him. You are being selfish by accepting anything from him without making it known to him in certain terms just how you do feel and that he has absolutely no chance with you.
Reply:I do not think that you are a terrible person. You have your own preferences in men. I do, however, think that you should continue to be personable to the man, and thank him for his good-deeds. In addition, you may want to tell him that you like him only as a friend, so that he will not contnue to assume that you are seeking more of a relationship.
Reply:im short 2 so short guyz dont bother me. flattered but no tinterested because they might be creeped out and think ur a stalker
Reply:Well..... if that was me, I probably would be kind of flattered at first, but then get annoyed. And your not terrible, you just need space like everyone else, like what the girl above me said.
Reply:no lol the same thing happened to me. And when I finally had to explain that he ws just a friend to me I felt horrible.


but its much better to let him know than to let him dream and think you might like him. the faster he knows the faster he can begin to move on with his life. Just be nice and let him know that you do like him, but not in that way. And that u value his friendship and you appreciate what he does for you.


Letting him know how you feel is doing him a favor, and no, you are not a terrible person.
Reply:i am in the same situation. he's my best friend. but he's only a friend. i just am not attracted to him. he asked me to be his gf last year and i said no. we worked it out though, cuz he sits next to me in one of my classes. he likes me again though. i know how ur feeling though. don't feel guilty. the only reason u should feel guilty is if ur using him (leading him on so that he tutors u, ect). if u are using him, then u need to stop and let him down gently.
Reply:If he comes on to you a lot, make it obvious that you're not into him. Never flirt or ask him out, you might give him hints. It's okay we'll all get a guy like that sometimes, eventually, he'll find someone else.
Reply:u can just try to date him for a few days n then after he's like kinda lil satisfied u can tell him that ur better off friends.
Reply:hey! whats wrong with short guys!
Reply:Tell him you DONT like him. I'm flattered but not interested.
Reply:thats harsh give the guy a chance he may end up being good for you.
Reply:not horrible. I totally understand, hun. Been there. And it's tough because its like... hes nice and maybe a little tiny bit cool ,but you cant be with him too much ,you know? You dont want to be mean,but you cant stand him. Eventually he'll go away right?
Reply:No luv, ur human! Funny thing is when I was younger there was a short, unattractive guy that used to be my friend, but really had the hots for me. He permanently used to call me and it did my head in. He wouldn't even call up for anything... it would be a non-conversation lol. But then I ended up fallin head over heels for him and really he was my first love! (not with him now btw). So it's funny how things can work out.
Reply:maybe creeped out a bit give a girl some space send her a note that you think see will like.
Reply:Am a guy...I'll answer anyway.





You are probably not flattered b/c you are not interested in him. Women usually know what kind of guy make them purrrr. Some, women also, just the fact that a guy is nice is a turn off. They want a bad boy kind a guy to bring out the bad girl in them and turn up the heat.





Tell the "nice" dude that you don't feel about him as he you. He might be hurt but at least he would know it's time to move on to the next woman.
Reply:sheesh... give him a chance. look past all those physical appearances and get to know him. you never know what might happen next.
Reply:Generally speaking, I'm not flattered when anyone follows me around. I'm honest enough to admit that I would be considerably less bothered if Jake Gyllenhaal was following than I would be if Jason Alexander was following me but, as a rule, I don't like that kind of mindless tenacity. It's really rude to put someone is a position where they have to come off as a b**** because you can't take a hint.
Reply:What do you care more about? Size and looks or personality? I doubt you even know the guy. Give him a chance.
Reply:Tell him straight up. I dont take it personal when a girl tells me she aint into me, I go on to the next one. But make sure you gentles, cause you never know what kind of guy he is. If he an adult, than it should be ight.
Reply:Instead of playing him, you need to let him know that there's no chance of a relationship between the two of you (other than being friends if wanted).